Another one

I had to post this. It seems staged, but it's still hilarious.

They're Master Debaters

Who doesn't love National Public Radio? This is from the last election, but still applies.

Lori's Birthday

Lori's birthday is coming up next Wednesday so instead of waiting until the following weekend to do something we're going to go out to dinner this Saturday, December 1st. The Swiss Chalet here in Langley was recently converted into the Coza Tuscan Grill and it's supposed to be really good. Who's up for some Italian food?

Yoga Noogie!!

There's money in them thar weeds

Quick, look around your yard and find something you know you could never sell, let alone make a living by. Now, as a joke, create a website to do just that. Sound like a waste of time? People will come knocking if you're selling tumbleweeds.

OLP

So I just finished listening to Naveed and I must say, OLP's old stuff is SO much better than their more recent albums. In fact, I don't think that's just my opinion. I think it's a fact and anyone who disputes this fact probably denies the holocaust happened.

Think about it.

My Top 5

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4
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1

Crayon Physics

We need to add some kind of link list that saves us from having to create new posts just to post a link. Every time I create a post just to share a link it seems like a waste.

But enough about my wants, I'm posting because I just watched a video about a yet-to-be-released game called Crayon Physics Deluxe and I already want it. Remember the game "The Incredible Machine"? Crayon Physics Deluxe is the same idea but with a twist: you draw your own objects and the game will figure out how they behave. It's what Spore would be if it were imagined by a kid. Sometimes the simplest ideas are the best ones (I'm talking to you, Tetris).

Update, 2 minutes later: Its inferior precursor, Crayon Physics, is already available to download. It's nowhere as cool as the Deluxe one shown in the video though.

Damn right!

Clicky the linky!

This is just for you Budday:

Surveys and Tasers and Elections, oh my!

The phone rang. Apparently the entire province of Ontario wanted to talk to me - at least that's what the caller ID said. I was curious who it was so I picked up.

"Hello I'm <someone> from <some company I forget>. Would you like to participate in a 10-minute survey on topics concerning British Columbians?"

"Alright", I said.

Lori wasn't home and I was just going to warm something up in the microwave so I had time to kill. I figured it'd be worthwhile since I estimate my answers represent probably 1,000 opinions. Over the course of the survey I was asked all sorts of questions concerning general transportation, the Port Mann bridge expansion, tasers (mentioning Robert Dziekanski specifically), provincial elections, federal elections, women-only election ridings, privatizing government, the RCMP, the selling and leasing back of government buildings, Indian land claim settlements and BC Hydro. There were probably a few more that I forget but those illustrate the general nature of the survey.

During the survey I could tell the client paying for the survey had some obvious biases. For example, most of the transportation questions may as well have been written by a Greenpeace activist who only rides public transit and has never held a real job or owned a car. I countered by strongly agreeing that the Port Mann needs to be expanded and that public transportation is not the holy grail the tree-huggers keep insisting it is.

After the survey I got my warm food and headed upstairs to look up some of the issues it raised that I was not aware of. About half an hour later the phone rang again.

"UNKNOWN NAME 866-751-1872"

I thought it was odd that an 866 number was calling me so I picked up.

"Hello, we're conducting a survey on topics concerning Canadians. Could I speak to a person in the household 18 years or older?"

Well, isn't this odd. I thought that maybe the first company screwed up and called me again but the number was too different.

"That's me" I answered.

I was eating, so I didn't take kindly to being interrupted but I had to find out if this was the same survey or just a weird coincidence. It could've been the same with its large overlap of topics but it had some oddball ones thrown in for good measure: federal elections, the RCMP, window and door caulking, tasers (also mentioning Robert Dziekanski), Brian Mulroney and Karlheinz Schreiber, alcohol, leaded Chinese toys and the obligatory household income question. The questions were also worded much differently.

"On behalf of Ipsos Reid, thank-you for participating". A-ha! That was not the same company as the first one. It seemed as though one survey was paid for by a political party currently holding office and the other one was paid for by their opposition. It made me laugh that if that were the case I could've given two completely different answers thereby either supporting both or opposing both - but I didn't. They both got the same, boring answers.

If the Port Mann bridge gets twinned, the government doesn't privatize its environmental work, Canada pays closer attention to toy safety and the police end their "Tase Everyone" campaign, I will take sole credit.

Update, Nov 26: As John Wright commented below, here's the story "starting tomorrow" quoting the Ipsos Reid survey: Canadians split on Taser moratorium. It even mentions Mr. Wright by name so I believe his comments below are genuine.

Update, Nov 26: Google News found me a story published today quoting the survey: Liberals narrowing gap with Tories: poll.

Aquilini Family

Dont think ive forgotten about you. I want my Frosted Malt!

24: the unaired 1994 pilot

Jetta stories: Mechanic For A Day...Or Two (part 2)

(This is part two. Part one can be found here)

On Sunday I was up at nine, elated to see the sun shining in the window. Once outside I noticed just how hard it was to work in the low light of an overcast, rainy afternoon the day before compared to the bright sun of today. It was going to be a good day.

I started by draining the water from the flush which took no time at all since I knew each step intimately. Then I dried out the inside of the block and detached and cleaned out the coolant reservoir so that no remaining water or leftover dirt was to be found. I reinstalled the thermostat, carefully paying close attention to its direction and alignment, and bolted on its cover using my IKEA wrench.

Once that was done I moved on to the coolant flange. It was another two bolts but this time they were both readily accessible. I removed both of them with ease and was surprised to find that one was a bolt and one was a nut. I thought that was weird until I saw the reason the dealer wanted $250 to do this job: a metal coolant line was running right over one of the bolts and was bolted directly to the flange. If the hose was rubber this would've been a moot point but it was metal and wrapped around the block to the thermostat and I didn't know what type of seal it used so I was hesitant to disconnect it. Lori walked out and was seeing how things were going so I showed her the existing flange and the new one and... wait, this didn't look right. The new flange was different from the existing one. The dealer gave me the flange for a slightly different engine configuration which promptly ended the flange replacement job.

After this disappointment I needed some success so I started on the spark plug replacement. I knew this job should go fairly smoothly as I could see all four plug boots and they seemed to be fairly accessible. The first plug lived up to this and was replaced in a few minutes. The remaining three were somewhat harder to get out but I eventually found the awkward positions to contort into to manipulate the boots and the job was done. The old plugs were completely black which told me the fuel mixture is too rich and supported my O2 sensor diagnosis.

For another cheap success I replaced the air filter too.

To finsh off the day I hooked all the hoses back up and refilled the coolant with new stuff. After following the Haynes manual for refilling I headed up to Cobs for bread while watching the thermostat more closely than the road. The temperature headed up to 90 degrees and stayed there right in the middle like it should.

After one weekend the car only got new plugs, a new air filter and a coolant flush. Now I know why shops charge what they do. However, doing thee work myself forced me to learn a lot about the car and saved me money at the same time.

What's next? I did nothing for the misfiring so that still needs to be addressed. I ordered an OBD-II reader from eBay and I have the instructions to test the O2 sensor with a multimeter so I'm going to do that next. I'll also talk to the dealer about a method for replacing the coolant flange - I may do it myself another time once I get the right flange and know how to remove and reinstall the metal coolant pipe. The saga continues...

Jetta stories: Mechanic For A Day...Or Two (part 1)

This weekend I discovered that it's somewhat dangerous owning tools. On one hand, they give you many mechanical advantages that the human body is just not built to deliver. On the other hand, they give you a false sense of knowing how to take on jobs that require them.

Let me back up for a sec. Two weeks ago our car started behaving badly. Maybe "badly" is not strong enough. It started misfiring when idling and it was not at all subtle about it. Looking back I should have clued in that it had been trying to tell me something for a while: gas mileage was getting progressively worse to the point that my Mach 1 burned less; at a long red light I could start to smell gas; on rare occasions when starting it'd go from zero to 1000 RPM and then back down to zero just as fast; the check engine light had been on for the better part of six months. I know what you're thinking - it's the same as I'm thinking while writing this and it rhymes with "dumbass".

The misfires happened on the way to work which prompted a quick diagnoses from me while riding shotgun: "Honey cut it out, that's hard on the car!" I don't remember the rest of that day.

When I finally came to, I decided, through a meticulous diagnoses process consisting of Google and my Haynes manual, the O2 sensor was to blame. However I wasn't sure enough to just act on it so I took the car to the VW dealer last Monday for a routine wallet raping and bonus diagnostic check.

I was at work when I received the call: "There are many problems..." They said the main problem was a vacuum leak which was causing bad O2 readings which was causing the misfiring. However, during the one-sided conversation I was sure the guy was making up names for parts that need to be replaced. What's a 'coolant flange' anyway and why would it cost $250? After turning down all the quoted work I hung up and did more research. It was then that I decided I could do much of the work myself. How hard could a coolant flush and flange replacement be?

I showed up at the dealer the next day and got the parts I needed. Standard rectangular air filter? Check. Special German-made pre-gapped spark plugs? Check. Special German-made Audi/VW coolant with big warnings against using the domestic green stuff? Check. Real-life not-making-this-up coolant flange with o-rings? Check. Vacuum hose? Not quite. They said the technician that did the diagnostic replaced the vacuum hose on the spot so I didn't need it. I found it hard to believe that the main problem was a free fix but the secondary problems were extensive. Besides, the car seemed to run worse than before I took it in.

The rest of the week was uneventful and the weather was really nice every day so when Saturday rolled around and I woke up to the sound of rain I should have realized that auto repair just isn't in my deck of cards. But who was I to go this far and not actually do anything?

I waited until the afternoon to see if the rain would stop but it just kept pouring. At around 2:00 I nosed the car into the garage door and started at it. I like to tackle the hardest jobs first so the work gets progressively easier as I go. In this case that meant the coolant flush and flange replacement. I started by draining the radiator which was so easy I began praising Germans and their intelligent engineering. This turned out to be a premature celebration.

The next step is to drain the block which required the removal of a clamped-on hose without cutting or ripping it apart. It's those minor details that can really ruin a good day. I thought I was hooped because for all I knew the hoses had been clamped in the same place for six years and weren't going to be easily coaxed off. After developing a technique for removing spring-loaded clamps and performing some very technical hose-jiggling, the hose released its grip and started sliding off. Disaster averted.

I learned that a thorough flush requires the block and heater core to be flushed as well. The heater core is easy since it's part of the whole system but the block has a major annoyance in the way that needs to be removed: the thermostat. "The what? Oh crap, I didn't sign up for this!" It felt like I was at the entrance to a rabbit hole and I had no idea how deep it went. Dutifully, I forged ahead and after finding the thermostat (you know you shouldn't be removing a part when you don't know where it is) I broke out my socket set and started disassembling. The first bolt came out easy but I wouldn't be writing this if the second one wasn't the hardest bolt to access. Due to the alternator and air conditioning pump being in the way it took me an hour and some harried searching through my garage looking for a magic tool I didn't think I had. But I did! Thanks to IKEA furniture and my insistence of keeping every tool that comes with them I had the exact box wrench I needed. I couldn't believe my good fortune. Ten minutes later I had the second bolt off and the thermostat was out.

Now I was ready for the flush so I rolled the car back, hooked up the garden hose to the radiator and flushed that sucker until the only thing coming out was clear water. Than I flushed it some more for good measure. It took me so long to get to this point that I wasn't going to do a half-assed job of it. At this point I was losing light so I put the hood down and packed things up for the night.

Come back tomorrow for the exciting conclusion.

The Condom Song

The greatest safe sex video ever! Fast Forward to 5:42 in. WOW!

Microwave Fun

This may just be the greatest website ever

Broken

I fell down the stairs backwards and broke my ass. Okay, maybe not "broke" but the sucker hurts. SO a note to RJ and anyone else who might be pregnant, don't miss steps. The big belly gets in the way of your normal visual path, so you might wanna hang on for dear life.

Baby is fine. I felt kicking right away after I got back up. I think the little booba thinks I was on a rollercoaster (with all the screaming and banging around) So I'm just gonna roll with that one. LOL.

Peace out my nerds